Christmas Blessings from Treasured Relationships

In This Issue:

*     Merry Christmas!
*     Highlights of 2015
*     Plans for 2016
*     Valentines Day Promotion - coming soon!


Merry Christmas!

As I write this, Christmas Day is exactly one week away. Our daughter, Keri, and her husband, Derek, will be arriving at our house in about 3 hours to kick off the Christmas celebration at the Wilder house. I'm so excited, because this year there will be a little one joining the party! It will be Mariella's first Christmas. She won't remember it, so I will have the video camera rolling. One day we will be able to show her just how much she enjoyed this holiday. T.J. and Mark will be here as well, along with their girlfriends. Various other friends who will come and go. There will be a special celebration with dear friends on Monday night. Then an oyster roast on Wednesday. The calendar is full!

It is my sincere hope that you and your family will have a wonderful Christmas celebration as well. The greatest gift ever given was Christ's sacrifice for us on the cross. That gift has made all the difference in our lives here on earth, and in eternity to come. May we all share in this celebration of His birth with acknowledgement of why His coming was so important.


Highlights of 2015

Whew! This year has surely flown by! In just 3 weeks it will have been a whole year since we launched Treasured Relationships, after putting the pieces in place to do so for more than a year prior to doing that. Laura and I knew that God was leading us in this direction, and it was a step of faith to put in my retirement papers from my position with the Marine Corps in 2014. In January of 2015 this ministry got off to a slow start, and God has blessed our efforts so that the year is ending on a high note. I have had the privilege in this year to work with people on both coasts and several locations in between; as well as in Canada, Egypt, and Australia. We have also had the privilege of working with a few local churches, teaching marriage enrichment classes, and even one 7-week program for singles. The most important thing is that lives, marriages, and families are being touched. It is truly exciting work, and I am honored to be serving you!

The year didn't come without a major setback. On June 22nd I was involved in a bad wreck on I-40, on my motorcycle, at close to 80 MPH. The landing was not graceful, but God surely protected me and my injuries could have been much worse. After almost 3 weeks in the hospital, I returned home and resumed my work at a slower pace. It was about 4 months before I really got caught up and once again started expanding this ministry.

In the last 3 months of the year, we started using a new internet software platform. The transition has been challenging and time consuming, but the inconvenience to active clients has been minimal. As of now, we are completely switched over to the new system, and everything seems to be working as it should. Now I can go back and update some content, create new forms, and refine everything to start taking advantages of the new capabilities. All the work has been worth it, and I'm becoming a regular "IT Guy" with all that I've learned. This was a huge change, after 28 years of having an entire IT Department, government funded, to step in and fix things that didn't work.

I couldn't be more pleased with how everything has worked out for Treasured Relationships during 2015. God has blessed this work, has been making a great impact in marriages, and continues to do so.


Exciting Plans for 2016:

Plans for the new year are shaping up nicely, with goals and strategies coming together. One truly exciting possibility is partnering with the Wilmington Baptist Association to establish a new ministry aimed at improving marriages right in our area. Part of this ministry will be training others as mentor couples, which will allow us to reach many more people. There have been two meetings thus far, with more planned in the coming months to refine the plan and prepare to kick the new initiative off. I will tell you more about this as the plan comes together.

There are more mundane plans and intentions, such as keeping this newsletter short and sending it out more often, and finally completing the training course I have been working on almost all year. (So people far away can take advantage of the training portion of this work, even if they are not in coaching.)

We can hardly wait to be involved in what God has planned for us in the new year!  

Valentine's Day Promotion – Coming Soon!

In the fall I ran a "Valentine's Day Special" that is helping couples build up for their best Valentine's Day ever. These couples entered the 4-month "Jumpstart Program" in time to celebrate huge successes in their marriages and in their relationship with God by the middle of February.

Well, I am going to do it again. But this time, the emphasis will be to start around Valentine's Day and complete the program around mid June. There will be special pricing and a bonus offered, just like before. So if you missed it, don't worry. You have another chance.

Does this mean that you can't start in January instead of waiting until February? Not at all. I have 1 opening for a new couple right now, and will have another opening in a few weeks. I have not announced the details for the new promotion, but I will be glad to talk with you about it, just ask! Better yet, go to the website and book a time for us to meet by phone, Skype, or conference line. Click on the calendar icon, select one of my available time slots, and fill out the form. I will email you the call-in details. It's that simple.

Question:  Why would a couple want to engage in relationship skills training and relationship coaching? If their marriage is OK, but not really exciting or fun, isn't that just the way marriages are? Is there any real hope that those marriages can be better?

Answer:  Building a great marriage is almost never something that just automatically happens. Our society and the media tells us that if you choose the right marriage partner, you will live happily ever after. You will have perfect harmony, will never disagree, and will connect intimately on so many wonderful levels every day. Ah, if only that were true! Since we live in the real world, instead of a fairy tale land, the truth is that great marriages depend far less on who we marry than on what the two of us do as husband and wife. Think of marriage as a verb: it is something you do. How you "do marriage" directly impacts the quality of the relationship, the fun, the joy, the excitement, the romance, etc..

The good news is that highly effective relationship skills are easily learned, and with the support of a competent coach you will have a far better chance of actually implementing these new patterns of behavior into your daily lives. It doesn't happen instantly, or even on a weekend retreat. The magic comes when a couple starts "doing marriage" the right way. And that's where the guidance, encouragement, and training you will receive from coaching is so powerful. Yes, there is real hope for your marriage, even if you are frustrated to the point of giving up right now. And, no, marriages do not have to be boring. You can have the marriage of your dreams. That's why a couple would want to participate in this program.

It is not too late to give yourselves the gift of a better marriage as a Christmas gift to each other; a gift to be celebrated during the new year!

Another possibility: Perhaps you are a parent and your adult child is struggling in their marriage. This could be a great gift for them, but only if they want help. Until they want it bad enough, they will not put forth the effort to follow through. I will be happy to speak with them, no charge, to do an assessment and determine their most logical course of action. It doesn't matter where in the world they are, so long as they have telephone or internet access.

For married couples, it is best (but not essential) for both the husband and the wife to participate in the initial meeting as well as the ongoing coaching sessions. Sometimes only one engages in this process, so I help them to make positive changes that will improve the relationship even without their spouse participating. I encourage you to try to select a time that works for both of you. Also, if none of the “available time slots” on my calendar work for you, please send an email to me at with some suggestions of when would work well for you. I can meet in the evenings, or early in the morning if needed. Taking me up on this offer could be your first strategic decision and step to improving your life, marriage, and other significant relationships. It can be your pathway to an absolutely incredible 2016!


Questions or comments?

Email me privately at with any questions, comments, etc. Or go to the website and book a time for us to “meet” over the phone or internet. You select one of my available time slots, and I will send you the details of how we can connect live. I meet this way with people in Australia, Canada, Egypt, and a bunch of US states.  So it really doesn’t matter how far away you are from Wilmington, NC.  I am here to serve you, and I wish you a Merry Christmas and a More Than Happy New Year!


Dave Wilder 


 Treasured Relationships LLC: "Helping couples relate well, build fulfilling relationships and experience marriage as God designed it to be!"