Newsletter #2;  February 6, 2015

In This Issue:

  • A Personal Note From Dave
  • Feature Article:  "A Compass for Valentine's Day"
  • Treasured Relationships Update
  • In The News!


A Personal Note From Dave:

In case you didn't know, Valentine's Day is just a week away!  If you are not ready, now's the time!  For the week of Valentine's Day, I have written an article and submitted it for publication in several newspapers around the state.  There is a good possibility that this is going to develop into a weekly column with at least one local paper.  I've always enjoyed writing, and this can be a good way to give valuable content to people who could use a little encouragement with "matters of the heart."  You can read it here (the "Feature Article" below) before it hits the news stands!

Many of you know this already, but just in case you didn't, our first grandchild will arrive sometime around the end of March.  We are more than a little excited about Keri (daughter) and Derek (son-in-law) adding another member to the family.  It is a girl, and her name is Mariella Inez Ayscue.  She is due to arrive only 2 days away from her parent's 6th wedding anniversary.  Wouldn't it be interesting if she is born on their anniversary?  Laura and I are looking forward to spoiling little Mariella.  We will certainly be making frequent trips to Raleigh for that very purpose!

We will be out of town this weekend for the "Wilder clan" baby shower at Cameron, NC.  It is always fun to get this bunch together, which we do on a regular basis.

Feature Article:

 A Compass for Valentine’s Day

 As we celebrate Valentine’s Day with romantic cards, dinners, flowers, chocolates, etc., we express love and affection.  Honestly, most of us would like to improve in the love department.  The good news: this is entirely possible, if we know what to do!  We need both a map and a compass on the journey to incredible relationships. 

If you hike across a wilderness area, you need a good map.  Your map shows which path to take, indicates landmarks and scenes worth a slight detour.  Without it you could become lost and miss your intended destination.  Your compass could be used to get back to the main path if you stray off course.  It could also help you find your own way, leaving the path to experience what other hikers don’t.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”  Valuable advice for couples when following others’ paths may not be their best option.

Entering adulthood with “relationship skills” learned from those who raised us, we are often aware that we want to “do relationships” differently than what we witnessed growing up.  We have high expectations, yet struggle to relate well if our map is to the wrong destination.  Without a compass, we will be frustrated in relationships because the things that come naturally don’t work.  Desiring different results, one must blaze a new trail.

Your relationship compass is something or someone who points you in the right direction.  It may be a book, a marriage enrichment retreat, the Bible, or a relationship coach who guides you through uncharted territory to a new and incredible relationship.

The “map” of our society says that I should buy my wife a gift and take her to a restaurant for dinner on Valentine’s Day.  But if my “compass” helps me realize that her heart’s desire is for us to spend some quality time at home by the fireplace just talking, I would do better to listen to the “compass.”  My goal every day is to attend to her heart’s desires, placing her desires before my own.  And, since she has the goal of attending to my heart’s desires daily, following our shared “compass” takes take us to the destination we both crave.

May you have a wonderfully romantic Valentine’s Day, and blaze your perfect relationship trail!

Treasured Relationships Update

Progress and Plans:   

The program is right on schedule!  We are off to a slow start, which is exactly what was expected.  In January I met with several local pastors and the Wilmington Baptist Association's interim Director of Missions.  Everyone so far has been supportive of this new ministry and they are interested in using our services.  Scheduling events for a church or any other organization takes a little time as we work out the details.  With each issue of this newsletter, I will post the schedule of everything that is locked in on the calendar.

My biggest project for the last couple of months has been developing the Treasured Relationships LLC website, which is coming along nicely.  There is a lot of "behind the scenes" work to getting it all set up, especially with the "Private Client Portal" portion of the site.  When a new client (an individual or a couple) signs up for coaching, they will be able to log into a secure site that only they will have access to.  They will use their unique username and password to enter that portion of the website, which is where their private forms and resources are located.  The amazing thing is that it is actually working like it is supposed to!  I am a total novice at website design, but I'm learning and am quite pleased with how it is coming together.

Another significant project is the new faith-centered marriage enrichment training course.  After years of curriculum development for the military, both on active duty and then as a civilian employee, I am very comfortable doing this work.  It has been a lot of fun to put this program together, and I am looking forward to making it available soon.  The primary tasks to be completed are filming myself teaching the course, uploading the printed materials and videos into the website, and setting it up so that people can access it there.  The idea is to provide the educational aspect of my work in this online training as well as in live training events with partnering churches.  By doing so, my 1-on-1 time with clients can be devoted to actually coaching them instead of spending too much time training.  It also increases flexibility for coaching clients because they can do the training portion at any time between live sessions.  The two primary goals are convenience/flexibility and effectiveness.  This is going to be a huge improvement and will enable me to help more people, so it is well worth all the effort.

The plan all along has been for phase 1 of setting up the program to focus on marriage enrichment and coaching couples.  The plan for phase 2 has been to add more for singles, such as mate selection, relationship building, and coaching single adults.  I have gotten a lot of positive response from singles, and will be leading "How to Avoid Falling for a Jerk (or Jerkette)" twice in the next few months.  My passion is both to help marriages and to help singles make great premarital choices as they build relationships that may lead to marriage.  I am open to the possibility of coaching just a few single adults while still getting the program established and before adding to the leadership team.  Once we increase the staff, which is in the plan, we can do even more on both fronts.  Please pray with us about this!

Schedule Update:

February 26 - April 8: Wednesdays at 6:30 at College Acres Baptist Church, Wilmington, NC - - Equip Class for Youth (High School): "How to Avoid Falling for a Jerk (or Jerkette)"

April 15 - May 27: Wednesdays at 6:30 at College Acres Baptist Church, Wilmington, NC - - Equip Class for Adults:  7 sessions of the Treasured Relationships Training Course (Participants will be given online access to the entire course for 6 months.)

Date and time not yet certain: At College Acres Baptist Church, Wilmington, NC - - Students from UNCW: "How to Avoid Falling for a Jerk (or Jerkette)" 


In The News

1.  A reporter, Ashley Jacobs from the Pender-Topsail Post & Voice, interviewed me this week and has an article coming out next week.  Until recently there were two local newspapers, the Pender Post and the Topsail Voice, and they have recently merged.  The new paper serves all of Pender County, as well as Northern New Hanover County and Southern Onslow County.  This will be the first news article about Treasured Relationships LLC, so we are anxiously awaiting the outcome.

2.  I have been working with SCORE in the process of starting up this business/ministry, and they have been very helpful.  SCORE has just sent out a press release to news outlets nationwide.  Wow!  Since relationship coaching is always live but does not require the coach and the client(s) to be in the same location, it is easy for me to work with clients who are many miles away.  While completing my training through Relationship Coaching Institute, I coached people in Australia, Hong Kong, Canada, and throughout the US.  So distance is no problem.  I have a conference line as well as "Skype" and "Google Hangouts" capabilities over the internet.  By having the training portion online, it is very "do-able" to provide both training and coaching remotely.  It will be interesting to see what the response is as more people find out about Treasured Relationships.

Here is the copy of the press release:


Introducing Treasured Relationships LLC, Wilmington, NC


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE — Rev. David S. (Dave) Wilder, M.Div. has specialized in Marriage Enrichment for over 38 years as a Pastoral Counselor, Clinical Chaplain, Military Chaplain, and Marriage and Family Education Specialist for the U.S. Marine Corps.  A pioneer in developing and implementing a new relationship education model for the military, he personally led 920 relationship building workshops with 12,360 participants and coached thousands of couples as they built better marriages.  He also trained other military chaplains to carry this program around the globe.  Retiring from his work with military couples in October 2014, he launched Treasured Relationships LLC in January 2015 as a faith-based and Bible-congruent ministry and business venture in Wilmington, NC. 


Dave’s unique ministry and business model includes supporting the ministries of local Christian churches by offering several Biblically-based relationship training programs.  He also offers an online relationship skills training course, an in-person group coaching program, and the opportunity for individuals and couples to work with him privately.  In this latter capacity he is virtually global.  By utilizing technology (the internet, Skype, and a telephone conference line) he makes his services as convenient as possible and even distance is not an issue for private sessions with him.  His program is designed to help couples move from their current condition (defeated/failing marriage, struggling marriage, surviving marriage, or healthy marriage) to build a thriving, blissful, “Radical Christian Marriage.”


About Treasured Relationships LLC:


Treasured Relationships LLC focuses on (a) teaching people how to have great relationships, and (b) relationship coaching.  Combining marriage enrichment training and relationship coaching triggers a life-changing process.  Couples in conflict stop fighting and start working together to address each other’s needs, wants, and desires.  Couples who are not in conflict, and yet are also not connecting well and may feel "stuck", quickly begin to connect emotionally as they start moving forward.  Roadblocks to healthy communication are identified and eliminated.  Commitment is deepened.  Intimacy grows dramatically as it becomes safe to openly share and deep emotional connections are developed.  Couples naturally choose a higher degree of romance as these other changes take place.  It is no surprise, then, when the sexual relationship is greatly enhanced as both a by-product of the relationship growth, and as a conscious choice out of desire to meet the other’s needs as completely as possible.  The way a couple lives out their lives together takes on a new dimension.  There is a spiritual dimension to this growth as well.  Detailed information about Dave’s coaching services and his exciting program is available at  You can contact Dave directly by emailing him at  You can also find Dave on LinkedIn and Facebook.

I plan to reprint any news articles and press releases in future issues of this newsletter.  I just hope that every reporter and editor give us favorable reviews and good press!  Wink

Bonus:  Here is a link to a really neat video about a couple who have been married 56 years and are very much in love.  I believe you will find it inspiring.!-6748.html

Note:  If the link does not work, try copying it and then pasting it into your address bar.  Then hit enter and it should do the trick.


We send our newsletter to you twice each month.  I hope you will stick with us, and that you will find the content beneficial.  But you can unsubscribe at any time and we will honor your request.  

Dave Wilder

Treasured Relationships LLC: "Helping couples relate well, build fulfilling relationships and experience marriage as God designed it to be!"